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18 May 2012 @ 03:53 pm
Well, in all honesty I find myself gravitating over to tumblr. Although I will be keeping this account, my tumblr account will probably become more active. Yes, my livejournal isn't even all that active to begin with mind you, but I'm seeing myself in a position of having more time to blog in the near future, with me moving to Vancouver and working a steady 9 to 5 job and all. Plus, I'm going to be experiencing a whole bunch of new city experiences that will be fun to blog about.

The tumblr is http://fillasawfickle.tumblr.com/ (if you can pronounce that correctly on the first try, I'll send you a cookie).
30 March 2012 @ 09:36 am
Yesterday, I had a 10 minute phone call with the women that directs the Technician Entry Level Program for the Ministry of Transportation. Last week, I found out that I didn't get the job and requested some feedback from the interview.

Some of my answers were confusing and I didn't seem prepared enough. Conclusion: Practice more.

This hurts. This really struck me hard. First of all, my plane was leaving less then 24 hours from when I found out I was going to be interviewed, and second, stuttering and broken speech has always been a problem for me, especially in high anxiety situations. I tried to practice as much as a could but I have struggling with dyslexia all my life and I happen to be one of those unfortunate people that need to put 40% more effort into things (such as speaking, listening, math, etc.) just to be up to the same operable level as other normal people.

I can't think of anything that has been more damaging to my sense of self-worth and self-esteem than to be constantly reminded that I have to work harder than everyone else.

In all honesty, nothing she said to me was unreasonable or unfair. To cope, I've been working very closely with counselors and the career-education department these last few weeks. For some reason, my writing skills have significantly exceeded my speaking abilities, which means I'll probably be really successful with my resume but will ultimately fail at the interview level. I have a lot of catching up to do.
06 March 2012 @ 09:53 pm
Well, over the last year or so I've put some serious thought into my religious views, finally being able to admit to myself as an atheist only a few weeks ago.

However, I must hereby recant my religious recanting. I now have undeniable proof of the existence of God. I am being punished for my crimes against the ruler of this plane for doubting his sovereignty. The comeuppance rains down on my in spates! Mountains of endless homework, degrading and humiliating conditions at work, loss of money, father in the hospital, and now finally, job offers that I can't accept because of SCHOOL!! The message is as clear as day!

Now please, oh Lord, I will repent my sins. I will suck back this endless mountain of illegal substances in your glory. I will hallucinate, weep, and grieve in thy name!

19 December 2011 @ 07:15 pm
If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
16 December 2011 @ 03:17 pm
Blah. My finals are finally done for the semester. Oh wow what a relief. December started out as a epic catastrophe on a global scale. For three weeks solid I had to put HOURS of work into a project while still working full time and preparing for finals simultaneously. Paid off though. My first final grade I have received so far is for the course that I had volunteered to repeat for a better mark, and I did exactly that. First time I got a C+, this time I got a B+. Yay!

Since I had went back to school in September, Wednesday of this week was my first official free day, with no work or school. Feels good to loath around just a little. I've also got some long over due cleaning done as well.

I'm also glad that my store is closed on Christmas and New Years, which means that I don't have to try to book them off or have to work those damn 3 am shifts on those days either. Mother-in-law is happy that Ty and I will actually be spending time with her on Christmas this year. Previously, I would always volunteer to work Christmas day for the money.

Heh, I told Ty that I wanted to buy Christmas lights for my peace lily and he was like "D: But you don't celebrate Christmas! How un-Baha'i like.!!" ... but you know, you don't have to be of any particular religion or belief to like pretty shiny things! :D


And for another thing, I was collecting Naruto for the longest time, but I ended up loosing interest after purchasing volume 45 (but I had only read up to 34 :P.) However, while doing some grocery shopping at Extra Foods, I happened to glance down at the "children's books" section to spot Naruto volume 53 with a picture of baby Naruto and both his parents on it. I was like ":o holyyyySHIT!" then immediately proceeded to purchase it. Went home, read it, and cried my fucking eyeballs out. Yes, you read correctly. I cred. (But I did a good job of hiding it though. Ty was napping right beside me and didn't notice a thing. :P)

Looks I have some catching up to do ~sigh~.
09 November 2011 @ 04:35 pm
What do you like to collect?
As of lately, I have been collecting DVDs together with my husband. I think we're sitting up at the 450 range right now. Crazy!
05 November 2011 @ 03:06 pm
What was one mistake that you’ve made that ended up being a blessing in disguise?
Failing some of my classes in my Architecture program. It has held me back two years and I've had to fork out hundreds of extra dollars to re-take the classes.

But perhaps it's not such a bad thing. My GPA is higher now than if I had just barely passed it the first time around and I have a greater understanding of the concepts. Also, somethings you just have to grow into. A few years ago I didn't have the courage nor discipline to pursue opportunities. Now I am finally overcoming my shyness.
30 October 2011 @ 05:46 pm
Some of the two worst places to fart are: 1) Public library, for obvious reasons and 2) a walk in freezer. Cold, dense air makes for a denser, smellier fart. I speak from experience.

As for other random things, my mom told me she bought anti-gray hair pills. Apparently it contains a catalyst that reduces the bleaching effect of hydrogen peroxide that builds up in the hair follicles. Yes, you heard me. Apparently our hair turns gray because it's getting bleached out by our own by-product. I thought gray hair simply resulted from the pigment cells dying. I looked in to a little bit but not too heavily yet. Most webpages iterate the pigment cells dying theory, never mentioning anything about hydrogen peroxide., so therefore... I'm going to call bullshit on this one. I'm sorry mom but I don't think your pills are going to work.
04 October 2011 @ 11:18 am
Life has been, well, pretty steady. Been going to school, going to work, going to sleep, etc etc etc.

The homework load hasn't been too difficult so far but I must admit making friends in my class has proven to be difficult. Everyone in this class have all been together for two years now and I have been added to the mix after all the social clicks have been established. I feel like a fish out of water. It doesn't help that I've never fared well socially in the academic environment before, ever. I've never been able to pinpoint exactly what I do to isolate myself from others or, more importantly, figure out what exactly others do to befriend their classmates.

Perhaps all I need is just more time. I compare my class environment with my work one a lot. At first I was stressed out because it appeared that I was far more successful at work for some reason but then I realized that it took me a long time to be comfortable there. It will be a year this upcoming December that I have been at my current Tim Hortons location. I have only been in class for about a month now.

I also have a tendency to over think things. Have I pissed people off because I sit in their established seats? Have I been unconsciously rude to someone? Are they actually avoiding me? I guess I won't really know those kinds of answers.

In my mind, I rapidly switch back and forth from "Fuck 'em, I have many great friends outside of class" to "Don't give up! Be assertive!" on a regular basis. But it nevertheless still leaves the question of whether I'll ever be able to overcome my natural shy tendencies.
Crib:: School
Mood:: disappointeddisappointed
22 September 2011 @ 08:58 am
My heart goes out to my hubby. As I type, he's at the armory undergoing the aptitude and physical testing for admission into the reserves.

I feel bad for him though. He's completely and utterly faithless in his ability to succeed in the physical exam. Unfortunately, the testing came as a bit of a surprise. He submitted his application three months ago and the receptionist ASSURED him that head office wouldn't even look at the application for six months. Not expecting to hear from them until well into the new year, they called him up last week to tell him the examination was today.

Poor Ty was so nervous last night he only got a mere one hour's worth of sleep. On one hand, he should have started working out as soon as he submitted his application, but on the other, he's been working like a mother fucker the last few months, accepting up to 60 hours of work a week.

I am anxious for what will happen. Regardless of the outcome, however, I am proud of him :).



It turned out different than what both of us had anticipated. First of all, there was no physical. Even though Ty wasn't the only applicant to arrive prepared (albeit barely) to do the physical via misleading information, the exam is out sourced through the YMCA. Ty needs to schedule an appointment through them and they will be sending the results back to the army.

First they all wrote (all four of them in total) their aptitude exams and then were individually interviewed. Ty was the first interview to be completed and consequently had to sit and wait for all the other applicants to finish their interviews which had expanded several hours into the afternoon. I was spammed with many text messages complaining about hunger pains and boredom.

So, needless to say, both of us are home now. Ty has already gone to bed and is sleeping quite thoroughly by the sounds of it.

And we're so totally going to work out tomorrow morning. :P